I try to write every day, but that doesn't always happen. Most often, I just get too sleepy and can't hang in there long enough to get it done. That doesn't mean that I turn in early because I'm usually up until at least midnight. I just wait too long to get started and then I just can't take it anymore. I almost always fall asleep with my laptop next to me. Like a teddy bear. A shiny, black teddy bear that doesn't cuddle well. Now, if someone would create a soft-sided laptop, a lot more people would be sleeping with their computers. If someone decides to try this, remember you read it here first. I want my cut.
Sometimes I find it difficult to write because I can't think of anything substantive or funny to say. On days like today, the funny finds me and I am so grateful for people like Friday. He basically blogged for me. Let me tell you about it...
There's this guy who can frequently be seen walking anywhere along a three-mile stretch of 14th Street. He usually has his head down, not paying much attention to where he's going. I get concerned that he might be hit by a car, but so far, so good. He has a lot to say but I don't know what he's saying or who he's talking to. Not trying to be funny, but if he's not talking to himself (which is PERFECTLY NORMAL--I do it so it must be!) I am unable to see who he IS talking to. Moreover, if he can see them, then there's an additional problem. I call him Friday because he looks like what my mind conjures up when I think of Friday, as in Robinson Crusoe's best bud.
Today, I stopped by the drug store so my son could get his chips, tea, granola bar and Spearmint Lifesaver fix. Like when he became adamant about using deodorant, and later bodywash, I am a little suspicious about his fixation on Carmex and Spearmint Lifesavers. And the marathon toothbrushing sessions. I give him his space, but I do have a couple of spies in the school. I don't want any problems...none! Just stick with the sports kid, to keep you busy and keep those hormones in check. We've got two more years before college and this needs to go as planned. Oh yeah...about Friday.
So he's doing his usual thing and he comes into the parking lot and he seems agitated. He's walking around and talking louder than usual, although I still don't know what he's saying. Rolling the windows down may have helped, but nah, that's okay. He goes over the the dumpster and flings the top open. Flings the top open. Like, FLING! He was riled up. He turned towards the store then, and he walks in my direction. Now I know that Friday is basically harmless and pretty much keeps to himself, but today he's making eye contact. Not with me in particular, but of course I was looking at him, which would have been okay, but he removed his shirt. Then his undershirt. Then put the shirt back on. Then took it off. (As long as it's just the shirt...) Uhboy...Friday needs a belt because his jeans are slipping off of his really slight frame. Uhboy, uhboy, UHBOY! Friday needs underwear! At that point I covered my eyes because I could see where this was going, and it wasn't going anyplace I wanted to be. Or see. This is not harmless, this is disturbing and potentially gross if it is allowed to continue. I uncovered one eye just enough to see my phone and I called 911. "What's your emergency?" "Well, there's this guy, who I see all the time. And he's not bothering me or anything, but, well...he's taking off his clothes and it's kinda gross." I felt bad for squealing on Friday but the situation was getting out of hand and soon other body parts were going to get involved and well, I decided that this was an emergency. "Where is he now, ma'am? The parking lot? Where in the parking lot? There's a big parking lot there... Front, back, side?" The dispatcher was being a real (insert insulting name here) and apparently didn't appreciate the call. About a minute after Friday drifted off down the street, two officers showed up. "Oh, that must have been Jack". I would have told them it was Friday, but I try not to argue with the police.
I try to always have things in the car that I might need. I keep dollar bills for the homeless people who stand at the expressway ramps and busy intersections of the city. I don't concern myself too much with whether or not they're legit 'cause that's not my problem. I give what I can and if they're not doing the right thing with it, well that's not on me. I'd rather help someone who doesn't really need it than to fail to help someone who does. I also keep snacks--granola bars, maybe some turkey jerky, and water in case I come across someone who looks like they're strung out and money is probably the last thing they need. In the winter I usually have a couple of extra pairs of gloves because I hate to see people who look cold. Last winter I stopped a gave a pair to a young mother and her little one on a super cold and windy day. Now, thanks to Friday, I realize that I need to add a couple of other things to my car's "survival kit". That would be belts...and underwear, just in case the cops don't get there in time to stop a real catastrophe. I often joke about needing to pluck out my mind's eye. If Friday had gotten any further with his impromptu strip tease/tantrum, I'd be needing to pluck out the real ones.
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