As Seen on T.V.

Remember this?  I remember it being called "The Looper", but it was apparently known as "The One-Needle Looper".  My version is much more catchy.  Catchier?  Whatever.

So I finally got around to ordering one off of Ebay.  I really didn't want to pay $15.95 for it, knowing that I'll come across it one day at a yard sale for $1, but with free shipping, I figure I paid about $12 for a piece of my past.  Priceless.

I went searching the internet for some information on it, and came across a very well-written blog post about it.  At the end, there were four comments.  One of them was mine.  I completely forgot that I'd done that.  It's been nearly a year ago that I wrote "I've been looking for one of these...!"  If you believe in waiting to purchase something to make sure you really want it, I must have REALLY wanted this because I've been online talking about it for at least a year.  

I remember it as a television commercial, similar to those for the "Popeil" products.  I convinced my mother that this would be a great gift for my older sister, the artsy craftsy person in the family.  It was always the coolest thing to actually see those "as seen on t.v." products.  To hold the Looper in my hands was like a dream come true.  My sister never did much with it, but I made many a 12-foot chain.  That's about as far as I got, except for the very tiny hat I made for Garfield Goose.  Back in the 60's and 70's, kids would send in gifts for Garfield and his puppet friends.  I sent in a very tight, not quite knitted, not quite crocheted, green hat.  If Garfield's handler, "Mr. Frazier" ever received my gift, I don't know because I never saw him wearing it.  After all these years, I still believe that he wore it one day that I wasn't watching.  

Never one to follow patterns, or directions, I kind of doubt that I'll master any of these groovy, swell and neato designs:

That's one heck of a bouffant!

And to think, all this from this little, unassuming little contraption:

And now, I must get started on that 12 ft. chain.  By Christmas maybe I'll have enough rows to call it a scarf.  If not, I can always make another tiny hat and ship it off to Sesame Street. 

Out of the mouths of Old Folks.

Today, my mom said something I've never heard her say before.  She has tons of sayings that she says "we used to say in the country", but I've never heard anyone else, city or country, say them.  Today's was a doozy.

Mom:  These dogs don't like the food you bought them.

Me:  Sure they do.  If they get hungry enough, they'll eat it.

Mom:  True.  Hard times will make a monkey eat pepper.

Say What????

This one was new to me but I have a list of favorites that I've mentally compiled over the years.

You've heard the saying "they're thicker than thieves"...?  My mom's version is "they're peeing through the same quilt".

"Doesn't have a pot to pee in" becomes "...a pot to pee in OR a window to throw it out of".

"Feeling your Wheaties" (getting a big head) in my mom's world is "got your hips up on your
shoulders".

"Every shut-eye ain't sleep, and every good-bye ain't gone".

"Can't see for lookin'!"

Folks, I get my sense of humor from all sides.  My grandfather on my dad's side had a few zingers of his own.  How about:

"She's so mean, her hair won't grow".

"Ugly folks are so conspicuous".

Out of the mouths of old folks...

Older and Better.

A friend sent me this today.  I've been saying this for years...Why would I lie about my age?  If I didn't want to live 53 years, God could have taken me out 20 years ago, right?  That's why I Never Lie About My Age.  I can't wait to be 73, 93, 113...well that may be taking it a bit far.  Based on my current energy-sapped existence, I think I'll be super tired by then.

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I finally got some fashion pictures taken today.  A friend invited me to be featured in her blog.  I'll be sure to post a link on this blog when it comes out.  I'm so excited!  I'm showing off some of my MAH-VE-LOUS thrift store finds.

How do you feel about fur?  Personally, I have never worn it, but I did find a beautiful mink stole for $15 at an estate sale a couple of years ago.  I threw it over a casual outfit today, and I really like it.  I don't want to get doused with anything yucky.  Maybe I should pin a sign to it that says "This is Vintage!  The animal that contributed to this died a l-o-n-g time ago!  Besides which I bought it at a thrift store.  I'm helping to save the environment!"

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I just heard that people who eat a lot of sugar have a higher incidence of Alzheimer's.  Not good news for me and my cookie habit, but this could seriously cut into my fun.  I'm definitely getting back on the health bandwagon because I don't think these cookies are quite that good.  Besides, I need to stay sharp to keep bringing you the latest in thrift store fashion, vintage, and my warped sense of humor.  I wouldn't do that to you.  Growing old IS a privilege and I want to be deserving.  It can also be a burden if you're bogged down in health issues.  Time to start turning back that clock.

Take A Deep Breath...

I attended a health fair today, and if socializing and laughing are good for your health, then I did my body good today.  I talked to a lot of nurses, therapists, nutritionists and other health practitioners.  My favorite connection was with a Cranial-Sacral therapist.  What, you say?  Yep, that's what I said.  If you feel like reading, here's Wikipedia's take:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craniosacral_therapy

After explaining the basic idea of manipulating the spinal fluid, I decided that I was game for a mini-session.  I have to say that it was very relaxing, possibly for the simple reason that I laid still for 15 minutes, while listening to ocean sounds.  I think any time I can make myself do that, I'm in for a relaxed outcome.  I have a purse full of fliers and handouts, a tangerine, a baggie full of vegan brownie bites and some decidedly unhealthy Smarties.  It seemed out of place, but plenty of vendors were giving out candy--a sure-fire way to get people over to your table--at a health fair.  Go figure.

My poor daughter was nearly attacked by a woman who was crazy mad about Affordable Health Care.  Mad, as in angry.  A little background:  She works for a healthcare organization as an ACA educator.  She's told me about the "characters" she encounters, but this one was over the top.  As soon as she said the word "Obamacare" the woman started screaming about how her premiums had gone up by $10,000/yr.  She was completely closed to any debate, explanation or attempt to discuss.  She said that her husband was a physician and she was "not a fan".  Oh----kay.  She also seemed very upset that, according to her, parents now HAVE to provide dental insurance for their children.  That's not the worst thing I've heard, and I was puzzled as to her quickness to attack.  Great customer service lesson for my daughter though.  She smiled and nodded as the woman's teenage daughter ushered her away.  She was really, really upset.  I don't know, but it seems that one might expect to hear about insurance at a health fair, and right now, in this country, insurance and Affordable Care are terms which are inextricably linked.  She really needed to breathe.  It did occur to me to ask her who did that botched job of plastic surgery on her face, but I remembered that my daughter was working and I'd better keep that comment to myself.  No joke, she was well on her way to this:

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7211692700966702251#editor/target=post;postID=8754277118010379421;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=122;src=postname

All that anger wasn't helping.  A smile would have sent her much further in the direction of pretty than those overstuffed, cement cheeks.

So after Botox Barbie stomped away, I got back to the sharing of information, eating oranges, drinking hot cider and getting my spinal fluid flowing.  That lady was messing up my NewAgey vibe, and walking back out into the bitter cold messed it up completely. I can't say often enough how not ready I am for it to be this cold.  On the up side, we are in for a heat wave this weekend...50 degrees!  After temps in the 20's for the past few days, it's going to feel like a vacation.  I'll send you a postcard!

Don't let the sunshine and blue skies fool you.  It's 25 degrees out here!

Perfect Day.

I haven't had a good camera outing in quite a while, so I was really happy to see the sun out today.  Yes, it was freezing (as in 24 degrees), but it was a pretty day.  Unless you are here to experience it, you'd think this was just another lazy day at the beach, but it was far from it.  It was a jump out, take a few pictures, run back to the car kind of a day.  I saw quite a few die-hard runners out there, and was a little shocked to see some kind of sailboat race on Lake Michigan.  Seriously.

 I got some great, great shots today.  I braved the bitter cold for these.  The boaters, runners and seagulls didn't seem to mind but  I was suffering...it took me three times in and out of the car to get them all.  Totally worth it!  I also made the obligatory thrift store stop.  I went to a new place called Green Element Resale.  This store was packed with a little of everything.  I didn't spend a lot of time there because I was illegally parked, but I will definitely go back.  Why did I do that?  Because we have these parking boxes here and the nearest one was around the corner, and it was COLD.  So I parked in front and kept one eye on the curb.

Beaded flower arrangement.  I absolutely LOVE it.  I tried to stand it on the dash, but it's too big.  Working on that.  It's very "bendy".  Fun!

Chief Yahoo electric tonic bottle.  Not sure if this is a reproduction.  It has a pontil mark.  Need to do some research!

Vintage Mainstreet down coat.  I love this coat, but it's too small.  I bought it anyway.  It's warm, not bulky, super lightweight and stylish.  I am SO MAD that I can't wear it.  It's the perfect layer for a hot-flashing girl like me!

 I took these pictures in the car.  I couldn't wait.  This is all I bought today, but I am loving these  unique items and I can't wait to use them. (Except for that darn coat.)  

I've been thrifting more than usual, and have a lot of catching up to do, as far as pictures and posting are concerned.  Here are a few of my recent finds:

Woven Born Boots.  I know, they're amazing.

I found this Pendleton suit last week.  It is in PERFECT condition.  Some lucky size 4 lady is going to be struttin' in style!  Pay no attention to the leash on the doorknob.  Remember:  this is not my house!

Talbots dress, found at the Free Store.  Yes!  My niece says it's ugly.  Is that a challenge?

Nature pics and thrift store finds.  I'm so predictable. 

Oh Happy Day!

I never thought it would happen, but it did.  I went into my storage unit (1 of 3) and found a set of glasses that I sold and couldn't find.  I really should have shut my Etsy store down when I moved, but I had a system.  The items that were for sale were supposed to come here, to my Mom's house, with me.  I sold this really awesome set of tumblers and then had to get busy figuring out where they were.  I was close--I knew which unit they should be in, but just my luck, they must have been one of the first things to go in there because it was in the very last box of the 30 or so that I opened.  NEVER disappoint a customer!  My lower back is letting me know not to pull that one again. 

Saturday means that I don't have to get up until eight, about two hours later than usual.  This means that I will stay up two hours later than usual.  So I'll go to bed at about 3am.  I'm a total night owl, especially now.  I sleep in a quiet environment.  Around here, there's a television on 24 hours a day.  I have been fed a steady late-night diet of Alfred Hitchcock, Night Gallery and the Twilight Zone.  The combination of creepy, phony and funny is intriguing.  The retro decor alone makes it worth watching.  

I found pink suede pants today!  HOT pink!  Suede!  And they fit ME!  That never happens.  Like never.  

The temperatures are freezing and heading down from there.  Single digits here in the Chi by Monday.  Two more years and I am so out of here!  As much as I can't stand the heat, single digits is just ridiculous.  Last Thanksgiving it was in the 60's.  It is virtually impossible to plan anything in this climate. Nope you can't plan for anything.  You have to plan for everything.  Still, I found those glasses (that had me really worried) so it's a good day.  

Willpower...

  

I have none.  And that's all I have to say about that.

Not really--I do have more to say.  I finally gave up on waiting until after Thanksgiving to do Christmas and let the kids turn on the Christmas radio station.  I have already heard Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" about six times.  Five weeks to go.  Oh boy...I don't get it.  Nearly every singer has done at least one Christmas album.  That means at least 10 songs.  Ten songs times thousands of singers times about seventy years.  I'm too lazy to do the math, but this has to yield hundreds of thousands of versions of songs.  So why do I keep hearing the same ten?  At this point, it's a tradition to listen to our local "Lite" station playing those same ten songs all day, then listen to "Delilah" at night, playing requests, which just happen to be those same ten songs.  How exactly does this work?

When we all get completely frustrated with hearing George Michael breathily puff out the words to "Last Christmas" we switch to CD's, but after a few days, even those 10 or 15 CD's get a little old too.  Except for James Taylor.  NEVER gets old.  But anyway, my point is that I need more (Christmas) music in my life. Living the far-less-than-frilly life means I have no satellite radio and no Ipod dock.  What's a girl to do?  Well, I think I have a solution.  I made an impulse buy of a tiny but powerful speaker about a year ago, a deeply discounted Ebay Daily Deal.  I'm not sure if there's a car charger, but  I'm sure there's a way to get it to work in the car.  I'm thinking that I can hook up either a phone, Ipod, laptop or some device to it and get a break from Amy Grant's rendition of "Grownup Christmas List", "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year", or Amy Grant's rendition of anything.  Totally not a fan.
I also caved and started watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel.  Add that to my list of "must see t.v." as long as I'm at my Mom's.  I have to admit that they're pretty cute.  Schmaltzy, but cute.
So the season has officially begun.  This is going to be a very non-traditional Christmas for me, without my own home to decorate.  But it still holds promise, and it will still be great.
 I'm with family, so I really am home.

Thrifting Hazards...from an Expert

                                                   
I stopped by Restoration Ministries today, since I had to pass by there anyway.  I was gleeful when I discovered that it has half-off day.  As I tore through a rack of shirts, I felt an all-too-familiar sharp pain in my index finger.  I had done it again--in my haste to get to that RL floral blouse before the old lady approaching from the other end reached it, I put a staple through  my finger.  All the way through.  I stayed calm because I needed a steady hand to unthread the tiny metal rod from my hand.  So that's Hazard #1:  some stores still use handwritten tags and staples.  They tend to have lower prices.  You decide if it's worth it.  And no, the little old lady did not help me.  In fact, I think I heard a snicker.  

Hazard #2 is only relevant if you have severe allergies or asthma, like me.  I take a mask, gloves and inhaler into some estate sales because I know I may be digging through a basement or attic.  For unplanned trips, like today, I may not have the necessary equipment. (What I really needed was a couple of thimbles.)  On Saturday I went to a sale giveaway at the "Free Store" which pops up in a different part of the city 2-3 times each year.  You can't be a snob of any sort if you're going here because everyone is equal, everyone is welcome, and everyone comes.  It was fun, but it took me two days to recover from the airborne I Don't Know What in there.  My fault for not being prepared.  Note to self:  Take allergy meds, bring the emergency kit and try not to breathe next time.  Even if you take precautions, take off everything when you get home and put it in the washer.  Take a shower and wash your hair.  No kidding, folks.  You have no way to knowing what kind of pet hair, dander or other allergens are sticking to you just from being present.  I rarely wear a coat to a sale.  I dress in layers, with everything being washable.  I try to eliminate the need for a coat because I don't want a cleaning bill after I just got free stuff.  Just sayin'. 

Speaking of cleaning--I wash pretty much everything.  I do have a few small neighborhood stores that I know launder or dry clean everything.  Other than that, I put even "dry clean only" items into the washer.  Not all, but a lot of them.  Some items are just tagged that way because they need to be handled gently (like beaded or sequinned items.)  A gentle wash in the sink, a gentle squeeze and a flat dry on a few towels has yielded me excellent results.  I also put items like pillows in a hot dryer to kill dust mites, and any other mites that might be in it.  Might/Mite/Schmight.  If needed, I'll give it a surface wipe with a clean, slightly soapy towel.  I'll give a vigorous rub to any stains, but I typically stay away from any items with stains anyway.  I have to really want it, know what it's worth, and be confident that the stain is superficial.  Items that look and smell clean still get the hot dryer treatment.  Tip:  Spray the inside of the dryer with Lysol, pop in a fabric softener sheet, and tumble for 5-10 minutes, depending on the fabric.  I got this idea many years ago and it is definitely a keeper.  I feel so much better about those items that I'm too cheap to dry clean!  This makes me feel like I've gone the extra mile to clean and sanitize someone else's clothes that I know I'll be rocking tomorrow. 

Hazard #3:  Buying too much.  I've been on a bender for the past week.  I have too much stuff.  I have almost everything I own in storage right now, and I'm accumulating more.  It's hard to resist a $300 Magaschoni suit, tweed with leather trim, new with tags, 1/2 off at Unique.  Hard I say.  I bought it. Even my daughter says that she has too many clothes--weird kid, I know--but she LOVED her $15 Magaschoni suit. Be still my heart!   

I stayed away from housewares, furniture and home decor--I cannot justify putting any more stuff in storage.  Clothes are different.  I mean, I have to get dressed!  

This is just pure genius...

The Top 10 Things I Wanted for Christmas and Never Got

This is not one of them       

My parents worked hard for everything we had, and we didn't have a lot, according to my older siblings.  I don't remember wanting for anything except the ten things listed here.  I think I might gift myself with some of these long-lost Christmas wishes, that never came true.  I always had great surprises under the tree, but not these.

1.  Mystery Date Game (I always wanted to open the door and go "ahhhhh....")

2.  Operation (I still want to try and remove that funny bone)

3.  Styling Head (I still love to style hair.  My sister-in-law claimed repeatedly when I was 10 that she had never heard of such a thing and couldn't find one in the store.  "Why would you want a head and not the rest of the doll?")

4.  Barbie (I had plenty of imitations, but the only "real" Barbies I had were inherited from friends.  I wanted a real Barbie, in the box, with all the accoutrement.)

5.  Cotton Candy Maker. (I was completely fascinated with watching it being made at the mall.  All that cottony, fluffy, fibery, spun sugar.  It was fun to watch.  I wanted to do it at home.)

6.  Marcia Brady's hair. ( I won't even attempt to explain that one, but if you've ever seen Whoopi Goldberg with the t-shirt on her head, that was pretty much me. ) Like everything else on this list, this is totally doable now.  Clips, weaves, wigs.  Too bad I learned to love my hair.

7.  A crocheted granny square vest.  (My mom sewed, but she didn't knit or crochet.  I still love crochet, and I have the afghans to prove it.)

8.  A Pet Rock. (My parents thought it was ridiculous. "Go get the one you chucked at your brother this morning".)

9.  A Snow Cone Maker. (I see a theme here.  No toys which will allow you to make the same junk foods we don't allow you to eat.)

10.  A Color T.V. (Yeah, right.  Keep dreaming. We got our first color t.v. when I was a teenager and it was a hand me down from my cousin.  It didn't work for long.  Our first new one was around 1980.  We stayed on the cutting edge :) )

What did I get?  A sewing machine, knitting machine, ballerina jewelry box, globe, leopard fur coat, mood ring, granny dress, gogo boots, bike, luggage, Bo-Peep perfume, Love's Baby Soft, Charlie and Sweet Honesty, several watches, one of those walking dolls that never really walked, combs that wouldn't go through my hair, but they were cute, Easy Bake, Tea Set that I still have, Ice Cream maker, and so many other great gifts that I was never expecting.  The only time I really wasn't surprised was when I repeatedly (think ad nauseum) asked my sister for a Dawn Fashion Show.  I was in 5th grade and was really obnoxious about it.  When she came in the house with a huge box, I fell on it and proclaimed "A Dawn Fashion Show!!"  She later said that she almost took it back after that.  I managed to feign surprise, but surprisingly, no one was buying it.



Yes, I have decided to stop resisting and acknowledge that it is Christmastime, even though Thanksgiving isn't even here yet.  I'm weak.  And I'm putting Operation in my Amazon cart as soon as I finish this post!

Veterans' Day 2013

Amber Riley--completely inspiring on DWTS

I just told someone that I don't watch "reality" t.v.  I didn't even realize that "Dancing With the Stars" is on, and I have been halfway watching it while doing whatever else needs to be done.  So I guess I lied, because I do watch it, if this counts. I should probably clarify:  I don't watch the shows that chronicle the lives and antics of the rich/badly behaved/pseudo celebrity.  The skill shows, like DWTS and "The Voice" are on my short list of shows to watch if I have time.  I only mention this because I just saw Corbin Bleu, the kid from High School Musical do this incredible jazz routine, a take on and tribute to Bob Fosse.  As a non-dancer (not even close), I find this stuff to be amazing. First of all, how to they remember the steps to two or more dances every week?  How to they keep all body parts in place so they're not slapping each other or stepping on each other's toes?  Why is it so exciting to watch someone else dance?  I mean, I'm holding my breath, so afraid that someone is going to fall down the stairs or trip or slip (those super shiny floors!)  I really wish they would just dance on the dance floor, and skip the grand entrances which require that they come down the stairs, or jump from the platform.  It makes me nervous, and what they do is spectacular enough without the daredevil stuff.  Of course, as with everything, there are exceptions.  This season, Bill Engvall is the exception.  There's nothing exciting or even the least bit pleasurable in watching him struggle to channel coordination and musicality that, in his world, don't exist.  I guess he is known for being funny, so at times, he does accomplish that, but for the most part, it's just pure pain.  As great as Corbin is, Bill is equally awful.  Now, for the truly important news of the day...

I've been posting a lot of pictures of veterans today.  One of my favorites is Richard Overton, our oldest living Vet.  He's 107...he is amazing.  He is still active and his mind is alert.  I'm glad he's had so many years to live the life he missed while serving and protecting us.  He, along with other veterans were honored today:
http://www.wjla.com/articles/2013/11/richard-overton-honored-by-president-obama-on-veterans-day--96717.html

I'd like to personally thank all of our men and women who have, and continue to, serve and protect.  You guys are great.

Priorities.

The amount of time I spend sitting and waiting has increased exponentially over the past few weeks. Tonight, it's sitting and waiting for my son, who is at the barber shop.  This could be awhile, because like the beauty shop, barber shops and barbers are typically in absolutely no hurry.  They take calls, watch bootleg movies and chew the fat (or dish the dirt) with their co-workers and the customers who are in absolutely no hurry.  My eyes are drooping and I am in grave danger of falling asleep right here in my bowl of black bean soup.  I love you Panera, but you are doing nothing to keep me awake right now.  I keep forgetting how early it is.  With the clocks being turned back, it's completely dark by five.  I am so ready for a nap, but my evening has just begun.

For the second time in the past two weeks, I have been asked during a job interview (by a much younger person) my birth date and/or age.  My sister says I shouldn't bother informing them that this is an illegal question.  Also, the question about whether you have reliable transportation?  Things may very well have changed, but the last time I hired someone, that was off-limits too.  I called 20 minutes before my interview to inform them that I'd be a little late.  This is only because they insisted on my bringing copies of things I'd emailed to them, which I had to stop for, and because my visit to the hospital for tests was delayed because their computers went down. I didn't bother to explain any of this because the feeling of being unwelcome was so thick in the air that I figured "why bother?" What I did have a problem with is the less than 6 but more than 3 times I was asked "what time were you supposed to be here?"  This was hammered more than I was that night I slucked (my dad's word) down three Long Island iced teas before I realized that Lipton and Long Island aren't anywhere near each other.  I get it!  I was asked to call if I encountered any problems, which I did.  I was even asked what time I called and this was before they even buzzed me in. Okay, I get it, I was late, but adequate parking would have saved me another five minutes--just saying.  Geez...Good news is, thanks to a very professional consultant who was open to warming up to me, and did, it ended up going well once I was able to start talking about something other than the time.  Still, the owner was extremely rude to me upon arrival, antagonistic during the interview, and curt at the end.  Funny thing is, sometimes people think that this represents professionalism.  Knowing better, I was both annoyed and amused.  

That experience is filed under the "never again" tab.  I put up with the treatment because people often tell me that I am too quick to react (and politely put people in their place) so I just nodded and tried to smile.  I'm not sure that I was successful.  If I was, it was really hard.  Once the owner left the room, the tension pretty much went with her.  You may wonder why I would even consider this job?  Because I don't have anything to prove.  This was an arena where I am an expert and yes, they would be lucky to have me. There was also a bit of an obsession with whether I'd be able to take direction and follow directions, even if I didn't agree.  By obsession, I mean that I was asked three times.  I can only assume that this has been a problem in the past, and as a former manager I know that such employees can be a real pain.  So I just absorbed that and tried not to be offended.  We'll see what happens...

Now, back to the enjoyable part of the day.  After leaving the barbershop, we went home and my son got dressed for the school's homecoming dance.  He's a handsome kid:


Priorities, folks. What I remember most about this day is illustrated right here.  Had to let that other stuff go!  

Only Me...

I was so caught up in the foul language onslaught that I forgot to tell you about the rest of the visit to one of the City Colleges of Chicago on Tuesday.  Before I left I made a trip to the ladies' room.  It seemed like a safe place to go, as far as public restrooms go.

So stall #1:  There's a lady in there, and I know this only because the door is wide open.  She looked up at me like nothing was out of the ordinary.  I think she smiled at me, but I was busy running away.  I decided to go to the other end because I didn't want to be anywhere near this nut. In the stall at the other end, there was another lady, door open, sitting there with her head in her hands.  She looked upset, but I wasn't asking because I was too busy trying to make my way (quickly) to the middle.  I have no explanation, folks.  I thought maybe I was being "punked".

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found the perfect pair of black boots later, at St. Vincent's.  Perfect because of the low heel, tall shaft and soft leather.  I wanted to wait for half price day, but I was afraid they'd be gone, so I went ahead and shelled out the twelve bucks.  Ouch.  I didn't get anything else.  Can you believe it?  Oh I saw plenty, but I was disciplined for once and left those Ralph Lauren alligator pumps right there.  I'll be regretting that one for awhile.  Of course I do have those kitten heel, cheetah print boots that my friend sent to me.  My daughter thinks she's getting them, but not this time.  I may be nice though, and let her wear them out Salsa-ing this weekend.  After that, she'll need to find her own.  They are too big  roomy, the heel is low and they are dressy enough...for pretty much anything that I need to attend.  My social calendar is a little light.

I've decided to stop fighting the early onslaught of Christmas and just go with it.  The stores, the t.v., the magazines--they've all decided that Christmas is here, so I'm just going to go with the flow.  It's feeling like Christmas here anyway, with biting cold, dark skies and wind.  I'm sure that the snow isn't far behind.

The weekend is almost here and I am looking forward to more of the same--trying to find all the things I packed and didn't store because I'd need them right away.  I think I stored them. I'll say it again...I hate moving.


                                                                           

Grammar Rocks!

                                                 

Posting in the middle of the day feels strange to me, but it seems that with all the time I spend chauffeuring my daughter around, I should use the time wisely.  Posting my random thoughts and embarrassing moments seems like time well spent.  

Why do people swear so much?  I really hate it.  I can't hear a swear word and not react, at least a little bit.  It might just be a brief halt in my thought process, turning my head to see who the offender is, or just closing my eyes, but it just never sits well with me.  Maybe that's why I could never watch the Sopranos.  I'm sure it was a great, well-written and acted show, but all that cussin'!!!  Eewww.....

I find myself in the student center of a local college today and you know that I'm suffering.  Since when did the "F" word become a verb, noun, adjective, adverb, pronoun, preposition and conjunction?  You'd think in an educational environment, one's vocabulary would be both stimulated and increased.  While it's possible, I really don't think that they learned that word when they got here, but rather realized that it fills a multitude of grammatical needs and therefore decided that their time would be better spent on Math or Science.  Cutting down on the vocab development also leaves time for socializing in the student center, providing more opportunities to use the multi-tasking "F" word.  

I learned a lot from the "Rock" shows of the 70's.  I still remember my multiplication tables by singing (to myself...usually) "Zero, My Hero", "Figure Eight" and "Three is a Magic Number".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU4pyiB-kq0  I especially liked the hippie family--you know, A man and a woman had a little baby...when I was 13 they seemed like hippies to me, running through the flowers and all...

I still sing (with great zeal) "I'm Just a Bill".  That was one cool bill.  Jazzy.  Raspy, soulful voice.  I should go back and listen to see if I'm remembering that correctly, but as a kid, yeah.  Sounded like jazz to me:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFroMQlKiag

In the 90's these shows were revived with both old and new episodes.  I'm thinking that the majority of these students were raised in the 90's.  I know my kids watched them.  Saturday morning, stuck right between the cartoons, how could they not?  Maybe these young adults (no excuse for the professor that joined them between classes, trying his best to be "down" with the students, ponytail and all.  Actually he was kinda cute...until he opened his mouth. He was probably raised in the 80's, during the "Rock" shows hiatus.  Poor guy probably never had the Saturday t.v./school experience.) didn't have television.  That would explain it.  If they HAD, they would know that "A Noun is a Person, Place or Thing" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZRj5IfAyjU.  They'd also know their "Interjections!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e24kdjdbtw and they would have made at least six trips to "Conjunction Junction", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zFS7TFzlro, possibly sung by the raspy-voiced Bill.  I think he got tired of sitting on Capitol Hill (I know I would!) and headed down to the Junction where things are decidedly jazzier.  All that hooking up words and phrases and clauses sounds a lot more fun that sitting around waiting for Congress to act...I'm just saying.  

It's getting close to lunchtime and the place is filling up.  The multi-tasking is intensifying.  Next time, I'm bringing headphones.  Or earplugs.  

p.s.  I realize that this blog isn't written in APA format, or any recognized format at all, but I write the way I think. (Some shrink is going to have a field day with that comment.)  I don't however, use the "F" word, so I'm guessing you won't have to cringe while you read.  I'll shoot for cringe-worthy another time.  But I still won't be using that word.  

I Make It Do What It Do!

My daughter says  I'm crazy.  Here's one of the reasons why...

As reported, I moved a few days ago.  I finally got the stragglers out and everything was just like new on Thursday, Halloween.  I started to post on that day, but I was just too busy.  I slept on the hardwood floor for a few hours, and not well.  I got up early and started hauling and cleaning again.  In all, I filled three storage units.  How did all this stuff get into a two bedroom apartment anyway?  I ended up leaving a kitchen table, a wooden bench and a four poster bed for the new occupant.  Luckily she wanted it all...she was moving in with very little.  She was searching Craigslist and saw what looked incredibly familiar:  a vintage kitchen table, sitting in the middle of a kitchen that she'd seen recently.  Oh yea, it was the apartment she was moving into!  She e-mailed me with just her first name, and I took a chance that it was the Carmen I'd just met a few weeks earlier.  Yay for both of us.  I didn't have to figure out how to move those last large items, and she had a few bits of furniture to start out with.  At the end of the day, surrounded by my belongings (I could have used a fourth storage unit), I reluctantly settled into a recliner at my sister and mom's house, a house which should be big enough for all of us, but is already filled to the brim with "stuff".  I was in pain, both physically and emotionally.  Timing is everything, and I did not time my lease end date and move-in date very well.  So, I have a layover of at least a month, and realistically, probably more.  Struggling, but more about that later.

It's Saturday morning and we can't find anything.  I have a ton of laundry in the basement.  The bulb over the washer and dryer is out.  I can't see my clothes...they don't smell dirty, but they don't smell clean. That's a chance I don't like to take, so I found a pair of cuffed, gray slacks in my mom's drawer.  They're not hers because she doesn't wear pants.  I'm guessing that someone gave them to me at some point.  I forced  myself into them, because they're about a size too small.  They are too short and my rusty, ashy ankles are showing.  I can't find any socks.  I put on my sister's purple sweater, which fits okay, but isn't long enough to cover my tush, which looks ridiculous anyway, but even more so with the too tight pants and lack of underwear (couldn't find any of those either!)  I make the decision to drive my daughter wherever she needs to go today, and stay in the car.

First stop, the shopping center because she's on her way to work, then spending the weekend in the city with friends.  She found boots, pj's and toiletries.  She comes out dejected---she couldn't find what she really wanted, and was lamenting the purchase of shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, underwear and other items that she already has too many of, but can't find.  We decide to return to my sister's house, hoping that our belongings have miraculously organized themselves and we can find them quickly.  No such luck.  We picked up a weekender (bag) with a duct taped handle.  Not the image she's trying to project, plus it was ugly even before the duct tape.  More dejection.  The mood lightened due to the almost non-existent traffic on the Dan Ryan Expressway.  Until....we exited.  I really hate driving on the North side.  The mix of cars, bikes, dogs, people and angled streets is not for the inexperienced driver.  Or me.

Somehow, we manage to inject laughter back into the morning by people watching .  Guys in shorts on a 38 degree day.  Girls in heavy coats, hats, scarves, boots, and mini skirts with bare legs.  I'll never figure that one out, especially as I watch the frostbite form on your uncovered thigh-to-calf region.  Hello....tights?  And if I see another guy in an infinity scarf, I'm going to scream.  Something about that just isn't right, and just saying so made both of us laugh.  After angled street after angled street sent me off in unknown directions (I lost my GPS phone and I really need it!), I finally found our destination.  She needed to work a library event, so I headed off to look for the missing components of her outfit.  She has boots, she has underwear.  My job is to find the rest.  Not wanting to get lost, I headed straight up Broadway Ave. and found a Target.  I can definitely make that work...but I look awful...I'm staying in the car.  Let me figure this one out...

I parked in Target's nice, warm, underground parking lot.  There, I sorted through the bag that she'd thrown together, the bag from this morning, and the miscellany that always rides with me.  She brought a purple sweater too!  But, it has a seam tear.  I dug through my glove box and found a needle and thread.  Note to self:  if you don't find what you need in Target, you can always sew this sweater up.  I spent about 30 minutes straightening up my car.  I found a plastic bag with an extension cord, cellphone charger, makeup, medicine and candy on the floor, things I'd dumped together when I had had enough of packing, hauling and moving.  Okay, she can use the mascara, so I put it in her bag (the one with the duct tape).  I took the toothpaste out of the box, and took one toothbrush out of the  multi-pack.  I took two pairs of undies out of the package.  There was nothing I could do with the huge bottles of shampoo and conditioner, so they had to stay.  I found a big t-shirt in the trunk, which I figured she could wear instead of the big, fleecy pj's she'd just bought.  It took up much less room and she could take the pj's back.  Less to lament.  Now to get into that store.  I figured it was about a 30 second sprint into the store, but my sprinting days are over.  Maybe if I walk really slowly, these cuffs won't swing around my ashy ankles so fiercely and no one will notice.  One thing working in my favor was that pack of undies.  Two sizes too small for me, but only because she bought them one size too big for herself.  You'll get that one later.

I tucked a pair (bikinis, seriously?) in my purse, put on my leather jacket, which covers a multitude of sins, and did a little sum sum to my hair.  (Thank you God for good skin...)  I also held my head down and made a beeline for the bathroom (which was stinky, but who am I to complain?)  Is this really Target?  Wow, great reminder that this is not the suburbs!  While I wriggled struggled into the tiny white bikinis, keeping my bare feet in my shoes, which made it even harder, I could hear farting and barfing from the neighboring stalls.  Should I be keeping it so real?  Sorry!  Okay, these things HURT!  I then had  a tremendous idea...I'd take the cuffs out of the pants and drop the hem by a a good two inches.  Cuffs are a breeze to take out, given that they're usually just tacked at the seams.  Except this time.  These suckers are sewn all the way around.  Really?  I had a pair of scissors in the car, but I left them there.  I wasn't sure if it was legal to bring scissors into Target.  As tired as I was, I found the strength to snatch that hem out!  I was left with 2.5" of extra length, and tiny gray loops of thread sticking out all around the hem.  I could have taken the time to remove them all, but considering the day I didn't even care.  Honestly, I felt much better.  I have never been one to wear "floods".  Oh, I almost forgot to mention that before I got out of the car, I realized that I didn't have a credit card.  Only the contents of my wallet--$30.  So I headed straight for the clearance racks.  I spent over two hours looking at the same six racks, trying to figure out how to utilize what was in the car and buying items within my $30 budget which would work with it.  I started to sweat, but just as I started to remove my coat, I remember the really tight pants with the even tighter underwear and decided to spare my fellow shoppers that image.  For a moment I wondered  how long it would take them to notify my next of kin after I passed out from the combination of hot flash, leather jacket, too small slacks and razor sharp bikinis which belong to my much smaller daughter.  I shook it off and forged ahead.  I'm a warrior, baby!

I got to the checkout counter and paid my $24.51 bill.  An extra long Philip Lim bedazzled tank.  A black short sleeved t-shirt that I'm going to make into a shrug as soon as I get back in the car.  A pair of black tights.  My idea?  That my daughter's short enough to wear the tank as a dress.   She just bought short black boots.  This would work for a  night on the town, and if not, she could just keep on the jeans she's already wearing and feel less "exposed".  By now, my back was killing me, my feet were killing me, my knees were killing me...shall I go on?  I got into the car, did my little shrug conversion and felt very proud of myself.  I repacked that duct-taped bag of my sister's into a .99 Target reusable shopping bag.  Much more chic, trust me.

Say it isn't so...it can't be...call me dejected--again.  On my way back to the library, I discovered that around the corner from Target there's a SA.  That's Salvation Army for you non-thrifters.  I almost cried, knowing full well that I could have gotten a complete outfit in there for under $25.  But, the deed is done and I did not turn around.  Why torture myself?  I got back to the library with an hour to spare, so I sat there in the parking lot and sewed up that sweater.  When I got out, I noticed some beautiful trees and returned to the car for my camera.  I was sure I'd brought that camera.  WHERE IS THAT CAMERA??  At least I had my laptop so I went inside and surfed until my daughter appeared, ready to head out.  When we got to the car I showed her my finds, and also told her about SA.  Not very impressed by my purchases, and nearly appalled at my homemade shrug, she suggested we go ahead and stop at SA while we waited for her friend to pick her up.  Of course, we got in there and she found three dresses within the first five minutes, finally settling on a cute black dress with crochet trim and a fringed black tank top.  Salsa tonight, salsa next week.  She figures she's set.  Back in the car, we dig for receipts so that we can return our hastily purchased finds (well, she needed the tights, and that black t-shirt has been altered to the point that I don't think they'll take it back...lol!).  The fluffy, fleecy pj's can go back too.  We both feel better.

I haven't heard yet how the night out went.  She's hanging out with a few friends from school, and the last I heard, they were at Lincoln Park Zoo.  I'm sure that something I packed in that bag was appropriate for today. Maybe a $9 t-shirt turned shrug?